.......

Yet, I’d drift around town with downcast dreams in my pockets
Stumbling every step
Trying to motion my frozen feelings in thick-set flop sweats

In the words of the great Kurt...

My heart was misty-hued and lonely / from missing you Without you near-around me / man, was I blue! My eyes would show what I could not say / while you were away Even so, my tears would flow in endless, hopeless replay Love was always only hearsay.

Halloween

The day before Halloween, I made my way down to the Cal Poly fresh farm store across the street from the campus. They grow their own pumpkins and other fresh foods, which makes buying items from there very enjoyable. I picked out a pumpkin that was not with the rest of the pumpkins-- it had some issues but I thought that it was a good one. I called it my uniqu
e upside-down pumpkin. I brought it home for Brandon and I to carve that night. When he saw it he said, "What the heck. THAT is the pumpkin you picked out?" I told him my reasoning and he ended up really liking the pumpkin. At the store the day, along with the pumpkin I picked up some corn. It looked different, much like my pumpkin... so I decided to to pick up a couple ears.
So then came the brilliant discussion about how popcorn was made. Brandon thought that we could put a couple of kernels in the microwave and would have ourselves some popcorn. I disagreed, but I didn't know exactly how to make it... Experiment time!!!

After I finally convinced him to stop microwaving kernels, we decided to put them on the stove w ith some oil--they burned. We took more kernels and tried more oil with a lid and helpful directions from a website-- they were better, but still burned. So, after smelling burning coming from the kitchen, my mom and dad decided to join us in the activity. My mom pops her own popcorn using regular kernels. They turned out to be old and stale kernels from years ago. My father being frustrated with still not decent popcorn decides to make a bag in the microwavable popcorn. Finally, my mom makes awesome popcorn after the 5th trial run.

First batch & second batches. Very burnt and sad.














It ended up being very fun!

We forgot that the main purpose was to carve the pumpkin... so we made a design and began carving. It turned out awesome. Just in case you can't tell what it is, it's a "B" for Bethany and Brandon with Frankenstein bolts coming out of it and lighting bolts. Very BA I must say.

Serving....

My whole working life I've been serving others their meals. That's a total of 9 years. The more I think about it, I've been serving the wrong way--my attitude is very often non Christ-like. For the past 8 months it's really been on my heart to volunteer. The only thing that's been holding me back from getting involved somehow is the limited time I have. I don't think that's a good enough reason though. I've been learning that you ave to make time for the things that matter to you and most of all-- find things you're passionate about and do them.

It all started with this idea to start a new approach to a homeless ministry. This would include going out and talking to the people and asking them what they need. Providing them with some necessary tools-- toothbrush, paste, etc. Something that is a care package with things that are more than the standard food donations. Food donations are very important, but I thought maybe having a care package that you could have in your car with some daily essentials could help in a different way. There are many businesses out there that are willing to donate items to organizations.

So began this idea of the servants heart and making a part of my daily life...

Brandon and I have been talking very regularly about wanting to get involved in some volunteer work together, which has been very encouraging. He always asks me what I'm interested in, and I have a very rough time giving him a clear answer. Part of me says to outreach with food because it's something I'm comfortable doing and have some knowledge that I could apply. Part of me wants to work with homeless women. Part of me just wants to get out there on the mission field. Regardless, I think God has been trying to speak to me...

I felt a little discouraged tonight when one of my brothers said that I am a selfish person. I suppose no one ever thinks of themselves as a selfish person. I hate to think that anyone thinks I am. I had to really question myself, my motives and why it hurt me so much to hear that. It's been something that has been coming up so often that it's blatenly clear that I need to evaluate this area of my life. It isn't that everyone thinks I'm selfish, but that I'm not serving people the way I should.

I started an internship application for World Vision Organization today as my internship for my degree. I feel like it made a very positive impact on my life as a kid. It felt so wonderful to be actively thinking about the next step in this process. Meanwhile, I'm going to try to start with simply being more conscious about looking out for others' needs. I'm definitely looking forward to Brandon and I can finding something to do together as well.

It's weird... you have this dream of how you always imagined your life to be. Mine is slowly becoming more and more both very different but also very similar to how I always thought. I'm so thankful for God placing people in my life that challenge me to grow.

Graduating is...

near by?

I wish I knew.

I've been trying to live by this quote: " Hope is putting faith to work when doubting would be easier." It seems as though there are many obstacles in my way. Let me explain... and by explaining- i mean slightly venting.

First, Registration for the fall quarter took place in March! My inbox is so full at my Cal Poly address from spam and facebook alerts, I didn't get the notice. So, I was already a little behind.

Secondly, I had a hold on my registration because I had to take the Graduate Writing Test. Everyone must take the test before they graduate. Once I took the test, I could register for my classes. The only opening they had for the test was in July. So, I take the test in July and try to register... registration is now closed until Sept. 19. School starts Sept. 25! Leaving me to pick from the remaining classes in those few days.

I try to register on the 19th, but the computer is slow due to everyone else being logged in. I try to register when I finally get through-- wait. another hold? now, it's a hold for paying late registration fees.

Fees paid-- clear to proceed.


Thankfully, I get 2 classes that I need. I try to add 3 more, with no luck. And the sad part is, those classes that I didn't get are prerequisits for other classes. So, i can't take the other open classes still because I haven't taken the first 3. sigh.

I check the updated list of which classes are offered which quarters-- 2 of the classes I need to graduate in the Spring are classes that are only offered in the fall quarter. I'm going to have to try to take them at another Cal State near by if I want to walk in the spring. sigh.

so. graduation. is. still. far.

maybe. Let's really hope not.



Oh degree, please find your way into my hands. thanks.

School is here again...

I love to learn, but I'm not a fan of school.

I'm not the biggest fan of walking from class to class. up a hill.
I'm not the biggest fan of finding parking.
I'm not the biggest fan of paying $95 to park in an overly crowded parking lot.

uh. I sound pessimistic.

I am a fan of meeting new people.
I am a fan of being one step closer to graduating.
I am a fan of learning from teachers who know more than I do.
I am a fan of the vending machine on the 2nd floor of the Communications building.

Turns out-- I DO like school. sorta.

I'm New!

Helloooooo Blogger World!!

I've had a Xanga for many years. It has been such a great way to communicate with friends and family all across the world. It looks like a fantastic site to start blogging a little more regularly.


I thought that I would start off first with just a little update on my life for those who don't see me on a daily basis.

- I'm hoping and praying that this will be my last year at Cal Poly Pomona University as a Communications Major.

-I have an incredible boyfriend, Brandon. He brings insane amounts of joy to my life. We are adventurous! Come along!



- I still work at Chevy's Mexican Restaurant. I've been an employee for almost 3 years.

- I sing at Mt. San Antonio College in two ensembles-- Chamber Singers and Singcopation. With the Chamber Singers, I'll be traveling to NYC to sing in Carnegie Hall this February.

Thanks for stopping by.