Serving....

My whole working life I've been serving others their meals. That's a total of 9 years. The more I think about it, I've been serving the wrong way--my attitude is very often non Christ-like. For the past 8 months it's really been on my heart to volunteer. The only thing that's been holding me back from getting involved somehow is the limited time I have. I don't think that's a good enough reason though. I've been learning that you ave to make time for the things that matter to you and most of all-- find things you're passionate about and do them.

It all started with this idea to start a new approach to a homeless ministry. This would include going out and talking to the people and asking them what they need. Providing them with some necessary tools-- toothbrush, paste, etc. Something that is a care package with things that are more than the standard food donations. Food donations are very important, but I thought maybe having a care package that you could have in your car with some daily essentials could help in a different way. There are many businesses out there that are willing to donate items to organizations.

So began this idea of the servants heart and making a part of my daily life...

Brandon and I have been talking very regularly about wanting to get involved in some volunteer work together, which has been very encouraging. He always asks me what I'm interested in, and I have a very rough time giving him a clear answer. Part of me says to outreach with food because it's something I'm comfortable doing and have some knowledge that I could apply. Part of me wants to work with homeless women. Part of me just wants to get out there on the mission field. Regardless, I think God has been trying to speak to me...

I felt a little discouraged tonight when one of my brothers said that I am a selfish person. I suppose no one ever thinks of themselves as a selfish person. I hate to think that anyone thinks I am. I had to really question myself, my motives and why it hurt me so much to hear that. It's been something that has been coming up so often that it's blatenly clear that I need to evaluate this area of my life. It isn't that everyone thinks I'm selfish, but that I'm not serving people the way I should.

I started an internship application for World Vision Organization today as my internship for my degree. I feel like it made a very positive impact on my life as a kid. It felt so wonderful to be actively thinking about the next step in this process. Meanwhile, I'm going to try to start with simply being more conscious about looking out for others' needs. I'm definitely looking forward to Brandon and I can finding something to do together as well.

It's weird... you have this dream of how you always imagined your life to be. Mine is slowly becoming more and more both very different but also very similar to how I always thought. I'm so thankful for God placing people in my life that challenge me to grow.